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Disciplining Children with Punishment

Discipline is one of the critical basics of parenting. Through discipline, children learn responsibility and self-control. Parents should have an understanding of how to discipline your child. When children don’t behave, we impose punishments and it is a very widespread phenomenon. By default, we believe that punishment is a necessary and successful means to discipline children, as we don’t know any other way that will solve our problem and we feel that punishing is the only way. Then, when our punishment fails to show result, we punish our children more severely. Such thinking can damage a parent – child relationship for lifetime.

Discipline and punishment does not necessarily go hand in hand, neither is punishment the only way to discipline children. If we punish to make children “pay” for their mistakes, it will not stop them from repeating it. Children are tremendous attention seeker and when they know ‘poor behaviour’ gets them attention, they’ll keep doing it. Of course, many times punishment is necessary, but use of punishment should be rare and only for the purposes of disciplining only. It teaches children that a particular misbehaviour was bad, thus promoting the development of self-control.

Below are few important points parents should know before imposing punishment.

  • Punishment will be more effective if children know about them in advance. If you are aggressive and unpredictable, children will become fearful and constantly worry about what you will do next to punish them.
  • Punish your children without showing anger; the punishment should be of short duration.
  • Give children an idea that they can start over and correct their mistakes. It will give them motivation to correct their wrongs.
  • Use respectful and non-abusive language at the time of punishing; children will also learn basic principle of reasonable dialogue this way.
  • Let your children listen that you are always ready to listen them and they can express whatever they feel. Don’t make it an one sided deal.
  • Remember when children refuse to co-operate with your punishment, don’t try to solve it with bigger punishment. This will only be solved by listening to them and knowing the reason of their misbehaviour.
  • Never hit your children, instead, take a deep breath and process the situation calmly.
  • Treat children with respect even while punishing, when children are not treated with respect they learn to disrespect, they think, it’s okay to treat those who are weaker, smaller and younger with less respect.
  • Don’t frequently punish your child or your relationship with your child will be based on fear.
  • Set the ground rules and consequences of breaking them, but don’t go overboard with hundreds of rules.
  • Be consistent about them breaking the rules, don’t let go any bad behaviour or children will start undermining your authority. Consistency is the key to effective discipline.
  • Children learn from watching parents, don’t do anything which you don’t want your children to do.
  • Reward children on good behaviour, discipline is not just about punishment but also about appreciating good behaviour.
  • Don’t make unrealistic threats of punishment. For Example, “do your homework or you’ll never watch TV again.!” It will weaken all your threats. Say it only when you mean it.
  • Don’t use severe punishments, it may take away all your powers. If the punishment is too harsh and extreme, your children may not feel motivated to change behaviours because everything has already been taken away.
  • If you are not be able keep your cool and react angrily on your child’s mistake. Practice taking time to calm down before reacting.
  • Ignore engagements in pity things. For example, if your child is playing with your DVD Player, just keep it out of the reach of him/her instead of fighting about it.
  • Don’t whine or complain about your child’s negative behaviour in front of them. It makes you powerless in front of them.

The best way to reduce misbehaviour is to provide abundant positive reinforcement for good behaviour. If you want your children to be well-behaved, you should play and work with them, appreciate and praise good behaviour, repair moments of anger and misunderstanding, and take an approach that is proactive and not reactive to solve family.

“Discipline is the defining fire by which talent becomes ability”

Disciplining Children with Punishmenthttp://www.parentingnations.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Disciplining-Children-with-Punishment.jpghttp://www.parentingnations.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Disciplining-Children-with-Punishment.jpg Ali Momin 2 to 3 Year Child Development3 to 4 Year Child Development4 to 5 Year Child Development5 to 6 Year Child DevelopmentAge Wise Child DevelopmentBehavioral Child DevelopmentExpert Articles,,,,
Disciplining Children with Punishment Discipline is one of the critical basics of parenting. Through discipline, children learn responsibility and self-control. Parents should have an understanding of how to discipline your child. When children don't behave, we impose punishments and it is a very widespread phenomenon. By default, we believe that...
<p style="text-align: justify;"><strong>Disciplining Children with Punishment</strong></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">Discipline is one of the critical basics of parenting. Through discipline, children learn responsibility and self-control. Parents should have an understanding of how to discipline your child. When children don't behave, we impose punishments and it is a very widespread phenomenon. By default, we believe that punishment is a necessary and successful means to discipline children, as we don't know any other way that will solve our problem and we feel that punishing is the only way. Then, when our punishment fails to show result, we punish our children more severely. Such thinking can damage a parent - child relationship for lifetime.</p> <p style="text-align: justify;">Discipline and punishment does not necessarily go hand in hand, neither is punishment the only way to discipline children. If we punish to make children “pay” for their mistakes, it will not stop them from repeating it. Children are tremendous attention seeker and when they know 'poor behaviour' gets them attention, they’ll keep doing it. Of course, many times punishment is necessary, but use of punishment should be rare and only for the purposes of disciplining only. It teaches children that a particular misbehaviour was bad, thus promoting the development of self-control.</p> <h4 style="text-align: justify;"><strong>Below are few important points parents should know before imposing punishment.</strong></h4> <ul style="text-align: justify;"> <li>Punishment will be more effective if children know about them in advance. If you are aggressive and unpredictable, children will become fearful and constantly worry about what you will do next to punish them.</li> <li>Punish your children without showing anger; the punishment should be of short duration.</li> <li>Give children an idea that they can start over and correct their mistakes. It will give them motivation to correct their wrongs.</li> <li>Use respectful and non-abusive language at the time of punishing; children will also learn basic principle of reasonable dialogue this way.</li> <li>Let your children listen that you are always ready to listen them and they can express whatever they feel. Don't make it an one sided deal.</li> <li>Remember when children refuse to co-operate with your punishment, don't try to solve it with bigger punishment. This will only be solved by listening to them and knowing the reason of their misbehaviour.</li> <li>Never hit your children, instead, take a deep breath and process the situation calmly.</li> <li>Treat children with respect even while punishing, when children are not treated with respect they learn to disrespect, they think, it's okay to treat those who are weaker, smaller and younger with less respect.</li> <li>Don't frequently punish your child or your relationship with your child will be based on fear.</li> <li>Set the ground rules and consequences of breaking them, but don’t go overboard with hundreds of rules.</li> <li>Be consistent about them breaking the rules, don't let go any bad behaviour or children will start undermining your authority. Consistency is the key to effective discipline.</li> <li>Children learn from watching parents, don't do anything which you don't want your children to do.</li> <li>Reward children on good behaviour, discipline is not just about punishment but also about appreciating good behaviour.</li> <li>Don't make unrealistic threats of punishment. For Example, "do your homework or you'll never watch TV again.!" It will weaken all your threats. Say it only when you mean it.</li> <li>Don't use severe punishments, it may take away all your powers. If the punishment is too harsh and extreme, your children may not feel motivated to change behaviours because everything has already been taken away.</li> <li>If you are not be able keep your cool and react angrily on your child's mistake. Practice taking time to calm down before reacting.</li> <li>Ignore engagements in pity things. For example, if your child is playing with your DVD Player, just keep it out of the reach of him/her instead of fighting about it.</li> <li>Don't whine or complain about your child's negative behaviour in front of them. It makes you powerless in front of them.</li> </ul> <p style="text-align: justify;">The best way to reduce misbehaviour is to provide abundant positive reinforcement for good behaviour. If you want your children to be well-behaved, you should play and work with them, appreciate and praise good behaviour, repair moments of anger and misunderstanding, and take an approach that is proactive and not reactive to solve family.</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><strong>"Discipline is the defining fire by which talent becomes ability"</strong></p>